I mean there I was lounging in one of the arm chairs overlooking the busy avenue behind our apartment, reading a novel of dubious literary value and sipping my coffee when it all started. I got teary-eyed and sniffley-nosed at the very thought that if we move back to suburban NJ, all my views - if any - out of a Starbucks window would be at parking lots filled with SUVs and mini-vans rather than a busy avenue of pollution-emitting VW bugs, old ladies with baskets full of fruits from the market, fast paced executives walking down the sidewalk and moms pushing their Bugaboo strollers. That's it. That was the deep, emotionally moving thought that got me nearly weeping in the midst of 25 other coffee addicts who, like me, had nothing better to do with their time at 10:00 on a weekday morning than sit in a cafe.
And here is the kicker: in the three seconds it took me to close my book, get up, and leave the cafe before making a total fool of myself, the tears were gone and I was absolutely fine. As if I had never even had the unsettling thought about suburban parking lots to begin with. And that, folks, is how pregnancy hormones work.
On the flip side, I recently read an article in one of those fit pregnancy/your pregnancy/healthy pregnancy magazines that I really liked and decided to pirate the idea. It was about the joys and wonders of pregnancy and why it is the time of your life. Sappy, I know, but then refer to the above passage about hormones. Anyway, even though this is my second pregnancy (or maybe because it is likely my last pregnancy), I am trying to appreciate all of the things I love about it:
- In the 1st trimester, having a secret from the world that only Sonny and I were sharing;
- Feeling amazed that God created a human body capable of making another human body out of just a little cell that looks like a dot on the screen;
- The cute bulge of my belly in the right fitting maternity clothes;
- Realizing that no, it's not indigestion but rather that the baby is moving;
- The constant companionship of another being for every minute for nine months - reminding me with a little kick or punch or somersault that I am never alone;
- Glowing skin (whether from the vitamins or happiness - who cares?);
- Attention from friends and family and discreet smiles from passers-by as they notice my growing belly;
- Predictions of the baby's gender from everyone who sees me based on old wives tales (and realizing that my grandmother predicted a boy based on the same old wives tale that had my mother-in-law predict a girl);
- Hearing the galloping sound of the heartbeat at on the doppler;
- Being able to go back to bed after Asha is in school and not feel (too) guilty;
- Eating 2 scones for breakfast without the (outward or visible) judgment of those watching;
- Being pampered by Sonny;
- Itty bitty baby clothes;
- Surprise showers from great friends;
- Having Sonny sit with his hand on belly waiting for the baby to move.
I could go on and on - but I'd love to hear about some of your favorites.